Posted by The SoleSisters on -
I've been meaning to tell you a lot of things. Like how my life has drastically changed in the last few months. How I haven't been able to travel and surf since March. Or how my days are spent in the city longing for the sea.
As a blogger, I often have to decide whether I share something online or I keep it to myself. And what I'm about to tell you is something deeply personal. It's not travel-related but it's going to be one of the most intense and exciting adventures I'll ever embark on.
It's called motherhood.
Let's begin where most journeys start, at the airport.
My partner Ben and I decided to travel long term together in Southeast Asia without a plan or end destination. We left Manila in November after downsizing most of my possessions to a 7 kg backpack. Little did I know that it would be the last trip for me to travel as a minimalist.
Our first stop was to Kuala Lumpur to attend the Asian Women's Conference which was a truly empowering experience. I met so many awesome people and after the conference, a few of us had an interesting discussion: whether we wanted kids or not.
We were about 5 women and all of us were over 30. When it was my turn to voice out my opinion, I told them: "I'd have no regrets in life- kids or no kids. I've long made a decision to live my life to the fullest and I can do that by myself, with a guy or with a family."
We finally decided to go to the nearest pharmacy to get a pregnancy test. I rushed home only to find out that all the instructions were in Thai! We went back to the pharmacy and the guy at the counter had to explain in broken English that if I were to see 2 lines, it meant that I was pregnant.
So I took the test. It was the longest 10 seconds of my life. The first blue line appeared. I held my breath. And then there it was, faint but visible. The second blue line that decided our fate. I went out of the bathroom to tell Ben. But the look on my face said it all. He just gave me a bright smile and said "I knew it all along."
After over 3 hours on the road, I politely asked the driver if we were going to stop for a pee break anytime soon. He ignored me the first couple of times I asked. I wondered if he couldn't hear me or simply couldn't understand. On my third try, he yelled at me "We follow time stop!". Which meant he had to stick to the schedule. I wondered if I had to wait until Laos to empty my bladder. I was very close to tears when I told him "But, I'm pregnant!" He grunted a reply and I had to endure another hour before we finally stopped at a gas station.
No more surfing for me for a while.
And just like that, I said yes.
Now we're back in the Philippines playing the waiting game. I'm grateful for family and friends who have been supportive. My younger sister just so happens to be pregnant too and I ask her for a lot of advice.
Some days I don't even feel like myself. We're very active individuals who couldn't stay in the city, or any place for that matter, for too long. We're like fish out of water in Manila. But we have to think about what's best for our child.
I've done a lot of crazy, scary things in my life. But this trumps it all.
One night I lay in bed, sleepless, wondering about motherhood, life changes and this squirmy creature in my belly. I felt Ben turn to face me, grab my hand and whisper in my ear,
"Let's make mistakes together, shall we?"
Lois is the Editor-in-Chief of the female travel blog wearesolesisters.com. She's currently in Manila waiting for the birth of her first child. She hopes to have a healthy baby and resume surfing and traveling very soon.
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