Posted by ChiChi on -
"Are we where we want to be and doing what we want to do?"
A month after coming back home from our 6-month trip around Asia, I bought Paulo Coelho's new book called Aleph. The book invites you to consider the meaning of your personal journey and asks the question above. I thought it was a bit presumptuous for a little book to tackle the issues I've been constantly dealing with since my return.
During the 3rd session of our Travel Talk + Photography exhibit, one person asked what our plans were now that we're back. And just like that, I was suddenly forced to face the question that I've been dreading most. I drew a blank. I literally had no answer for her.
If you would have asked me this question at the start of the trip, I would have easily said India! After having heard Lois gush about how she fell in love with India, I wanted to experience everything for myself. I've always been intrigued and inexplicably drawn towards this country. So, if you would have asked me in March, I would have said I'd spend 2 months backpacking India.
During this month, we arrived in the little Thai town of Chiang Mai. Spending 2 weeks instead of the 3 days originally planned made me realize that I could live here temporarily to rest and recuperate (physically and financially) before moving on to my next destination. I also met another Filipino, Ralph, who could offer me a job. By June, I was sure that I won't be going back to the Philippines at the end of the trip but would go straight to Chiang Mai instead.
Coelho says that life is the train and not the train station. It's now been 3 months since I've been back home and my answer to that question has changed several times more. This leads me think that my life is not just any ordinary train but the freakin' Shinkansen!
I've found out that when you've left everything behind, when nothing's tying you down, when you start from scratch - You realize that there are endless possibilities that lie before you. The fact that you can do anything and everything makes you reel a little bit sideways. Yet the big question still remains: "What do I really want to do?".
I'm almost done with Aleph yet I'm no closer to finding the answer to this than when I first started reading the book.
I've finally decided to trust and follow the signs. And at this moment, all signs point towards Singapore. My instincts and that small practical part of my brain say this is the best path to take. Or just the best path until I can top up my escape fund for the next Sole Sister adventure. I'm just going to trust and let fate dictate the outcome of this adventure. I'm just going on this roller coaster ride that's called my life. But damn if I won't be doing it with my eyes wide open, hands up in the air and enjoying every moment of it.
I don't know where this will lead or how it's going to end. I don't know where I'll be a year from now. I still have no answer to the BIG question. But maybe no one really does.
To be continued,
Sole Sister Chichi
"Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t." - Baz Luhrmann
*Photos (except main one) from We Heart It.